Sometimes our kinsmen will just say things that make us want to serve them to ten-inch canine vultures.
Just.
You know what I’m talking about. Don’t act like you’ve never wanted to just toss that Fella into the open jaws of a mangy drooling beast. Or that you didn’t want to go “who’s a good boy” after that, patting the lethal carnivorous brute on its head.
Maybe a belly scratch, if you’re still alive.
I’m talking about the rapists, defilers, abusers, the butchers, the animals, the anal warts, the… oopsies.
Sorry, got a little carried away there.
Ahem… Right.
The guys who massacre the English language without so much as a thought or care for the people who have to listen to them. I understand that not all of us can be as well read as some (ME) of us. But for the love of Shakespeare, if you don’t understand a word, don’t be use-using it anyhow like your buddies over at Speke. The mind was not designed to cringe, thought was not designed to develop counter thoughts of their own which then hold debate inside my head over how best the criminal in question should die. These things happen when I hear these people express themselves. If this is the price we have to pay for them to exercise freedom of speech then I should think we were better off in a censored society. Bring back Louis and the Nobles. We don’t give a damn. I’d rather deal with an idiot like Louis than total idiots like the buffoons who use words they don’t understand.
Where does someone get off saying “I reminisce when I last saw you. You haven’t changed.”
If you found that coherent, get the crap out of my blog. Who the hell let you in anyway? Don’t make me get physical. I have Alfie (the mangy drooling beast) on stand by here, down boy.
Anyway, turns out this “violate the language” thing is all the rage among the stupid. They thrive on this. I now see beyond the apparent “for comedic relief” point of those handbooks for idiots. English for Idiots should be given out free for these guys, they wouldn’t have the brain to buy it.
Why the outrage, you may ask. Why all the open faced unabashedly bare loathing? I am at that point in all book-lover’s lives when I am so obsessed with the word, written and spoken that to hear it so violated, so raped, breaks my heart to Princess of Wales mourning tears! That bad!
The “reminisce” chap is a one hit wonder, so there’s chance that he might be forgiven. The guys who go into over time on their “r”s and “l”s, all for the reverent and unachievable American accent, for these guys even the devil is at a loss. But without pretenses such as we would miss out on the delightful glory of stuff like awkward silence (at the other dude’s expense), having idiots to be superior over, the “ahem” of the Snobs United, the one that precedes the correction, then the defamation.
“Er, ahem, I don’t think you should say that. It’s ironical? Dude, find a noose or an overdose of something lethal or expired or whatever, just do it fast and make sure you get it right!”
Disclaimer; I’m a nice person, really I am. I hate…but I love humanity… honest. What do you want me to do to prove it, get a tatoo of the human race? Who do I look like, Fat Joe?
